Parents Article on Talking to Preteens about Body Image

by JMoorE_8900_nh2024 | Dec 18, 2024 | Family, Parenting

Value Builders International

Helping Your Preteen Understand Body Image and True Beauty in a World of Social Media

Today’s preteens are growing up in a world where social media, online images, and influencers constantly display what seems to be the “perfect” look, body type, or style. The pressure to look a certain way can be overwhelming for kids aged 8 to 12, who are just beginning to form their ideas about beauty, self-worth, and identity. With so many edited images and curated profiles on social media, it’s easy for preteens to feel that they don’t measure up or aren’t “enough.” As parents, we can play a crucial role in helping them understand that their true value comes from something much deeper and more lasting than any image online.

The Impact of Social Media on Body Image

Social media has dramatically affected how young people, even preteens, perceive their own bodies and beauty. Studies show that over 70% of preteens who use social media report feeling more insecure about their appearance after scrolling through posts from influencers or celebrities (Common Sense Media, 2022). Apps like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok often display edited or filtered images that create an illusion of “perfect” bodies and faces. Even though these images aren’t real, they can still lead kids to feel like they’re not enough.

The Journal of Adolescent Health also reports that adolescents who spend more than three hours per day on social media are 60% more likely to struggle with body image issues (Journal of Adolescent Health, 2021). This constant exposure to edited beauty standards creates an unrealistic image of what “beauty” should be, which can harm young minds by promoting the idea that they need to look a certain way to be valued.

Recognizing the Illusion: Social Media Isn’t Real Life

When you talk to your preteen about social media, it’s important to help them understand that much of what they see online isn’t real. Filters, photo-editing apps, and professional lighting are used to make people look “perfect,” which isn’t how they look in real life. Helping your child see this can ease some of the pressure they feel to meet impossible beauty standards.

Here’s one way to explain it:

“The images you see online are often carefully chosen and edited to look perfect, but real life isn’t like that. No one looks perfect all the time, and most people don’t look the same as they do in pictures. Even the people who post those photos don’t look like that in real life!”

Let them know that while social media might show only a small, polished part of someone’s life, true beauty is about more than looks.

Talking About True Beauty and Value

For preteens, understanding where real beauty and self-worth come from can be incredibly comforting. While the world focuses on appearances, remind your child that they were created with purpose and value in God’s image. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them.” This means that every person, including your preteen, is valuable and beautiful just as they are.

Help them see that their worth isn’t based on what others think, the number of “likes” they get, or how they look in photos. Their value comes from being a unique creation of God, loved and cherished just as they are.

Here’s how you might approach this conversation:

“You don’t need to look a certain way or get a lot of likes to be beautiful. God made you in His image, which means you’re already valuable and special just the way you are. The things that matter most—kindness, courage, honesty, and love—are what make you truly beautiful.”

Encourage them to find confidence in who they are, rather than trying to change to fit a narrow view of beauty.

How Social Media Creates a Fake Standard of Beauty

It’s crucial to help your child understand that social media often promotes a “one-size-fits-all” standard of beauty that simply isn’t real. Remind them that many social media influencers use filters or editing apps to change how they look, making their skin flawless or their bodies a certain shape. According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 88% of teenage girls have used photo-editing apps before posting pictures of themselves on social media (APA, 2022). Knowing that most images are not genuine can help preteens see through the fake standards and appreciate people—and themselves—for who they truly are.

Steps Parents Can Take to Support Positive Body Image in Preteens

There are many ways you can help your preteen develop a healthy view of themselves and their body. Here are some suggestions for keeping the focus on true beauty and self-worth:

Limit Social Media Exposure: Reducing time on social media can help minimize the negative impact of unrealistic beauty standards. Encourage offline activities that your preteen enjoys, like sports, art, or reading, where they can feel good about themselves without comparing themselves to others.
Talk Openly About What They See Online: After they’ve been on social media, ask them how they felt about what they saw. Encourage open conversations about any insecurities they might feel and remind them that these images aren’t real representations of everyday people.
Focus on Inner Qualities: Emphasize the importance of character, kindness, and integrity over appearance. Compliment your child on things they do well and qualities they show, rather than only commenting on their looks.
Celebrate Diversity in Beauty: Show them that beauty isn’t limited to one look, size, or shape. Talk about how people come in all shapes, colors, and sizes, and that’s something to be celebrated, not hidden.
Model a Healthy Body Image: Kids notice how their parents feel about their own bodies, so try to be mindful of the way you talk about your own appearance. Show confidence in who you are, and your child will be more likely to do the same.
Encourage Faith and Self-Worth: Remind your preteen that they’re created in God’s image and that their worth is far beyond physical appearance. When they face insecurities, reassure them of their unique purpose and the beauty God sees in them.

The Power of Faith in Shaping a Healthy Self-Image

For preteens, knowing that they are valued and loved by God can be incredibly grounding. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Sharing this verse with your child can remind them that God designed them with care, purpose, and love. Encourage them to remember that true beauty comes from a loving heart, a kind spirit, and a strong character.

Here’s how you might frame it:

“Every time you feel insecure about how you look, remember that God made you exactly the way you are. He sees your kindness, your heart, and all the good things inside of you. That’s what makes you truly beautiful, not what the world says.”

Letting your child know that their worth comes from a source that doesn’t change, like God’s love, can give them the confidence to face the world with strength and self-acceptance.

Moving Forward Together

Helping your preteen develop a positive self-image in a world filled with filtered images and social media pressures can feel challenging, but your love, support, and faith are powerful tools. By reminding them of the truth about beauty, you’re equipping them to value themselves deeply and see through the illusions created by social media. Every conversation, encouragement, and reminder of their worth helps them grow into confident, kind, and beautiful individuals—inside and out.

References

Common Sense Media. (2022). Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image. Retrieved from https://commonsensemedia.org
Journal of Adolescent Health. (2021). The Impact of Social Media on Adolescent Body Image. Retrieved from https://jahonline.org
American Psychological Association. (2022). Social Media and Body Image Among Teens. Retrieved from https://apa.org