Value Builders International
Helping Your Preteen Understand the Value of Life in a World Full of Violence
In a world filled with action-packed movies, video games, and social media, young people today are exposed to more violence than ever before. While these forms of entertainment can be exciting and fun, they often come with a hidden cost—gradually desensitizing us to violence and making it harder to recognize the true, incredible value of life. For preteens who are still shaping their understanding of right and wrong, this exposure can lead to misunderstandings about the importance of life, death, and the sacredness of every soul.
As a parent, you have the unique opportunity to talk with your preteen about why every life is valuable and irreplaceable. Let’s look at how to explain the preciousness of life and help them see beyond the messages that entertainment often sends.
The Preciousness of Life: What Money Can’t Buy
Life is the most precious gift we have. Unlike most things in this world, life can’t be bought, replaced, or fixed. You can’t buy more time, and once someone is gone, no amount of money can bring them back. Yet, we’re surrounded by media that makes violence look like a game or something that doesn’t have lasting effects. In many video games, a character can “respawn” or come back to life after getting hurt or “dying.” Movies and TV shows often portray heroes who defeat “bad guys” without ever thinking about the lives they’re taking.
In reality, each person’s life is unique and valuable. Jesus reminds us of this in Matthew 10:29-31 when He says, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care… So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” This verse helps us see that God values each life deeply and knows every detail of who we are. When you help your preteen understand this, they can start to see their own worth and the worth of others in a new light.
How Media Desensitizes Us to Violence and Death
The average preteen today is exposed to a staggering amount of media each day. According to the American Psychological Association, children between the ages of 8 and 12 spend about 4-6 hours daily on screens, with much of this time spent on social media, video games, and watching shows (American Psychological Association, 2021). Many of these forms of entertainment portray violence in a way that makes it seem normal, funny, or exciting. In fact, studies show that by age 18, the average American child has seen 200,000 acts of violence on television alone, including 16,000 murders (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2019).
Repeated exposure to these images of violence can make kids less sensitive to the reality of harm and suffering. This process, called desensitization, can lead to children feeling less empathy for those who are hurt or in pain and make them think that violence is a natural part of life. As parents, it’s essential to help your preteen understand that what they see on screens is not a true reflection of real life or real consequences.
Talking to Your Preteen: Life is Irreplaceable
One of the most powerful ways to help your preteen understand the value of life is by talking openly about it. Here’s one way to start the conversation:
“You know how in video games or movies, people sometimes get hurt or even die, but then they come back or seem okay in the next scene? In real life, it’s different. Every person’s life is a one-of-a-kind gift from God. Once someone’s life is gone, we can’t bring them back. That’s why every life, including yours, is so precious and valuable.”
Help them understand that unlike video games, where characters have multiple lives, we only have one life to live, and so does every person we encounter. Reinforcing this helps build empathy and a deeper respect for others.
Why Violence Should Not Be Entertaining
Many shows, movies, and games make violence look fun, heroic, or even humorous. But watching violent content can affect how we think about hurting others, even if we don’t realize it. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry found that kids who watch a lot of violence are more likely to show aggression, fearfulness, or a decreased sensitivity to the suffering of others (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2022).
When violence is made to look like entertainment, it makes it harder for us to see the real pain it causes. As parents, we can remind our preteens that hurting others or treating people as if they don’t matter is never okay, even if it looks cool on screen. Help them understand that the heroism they see in movies isn’t about defeating enemies but about protecting, helping, and being kind to others.
Here’s an example of how to explain this:
“When you see heroes on TV or in movies, what makes them truly good isn’t that they fight people—it’s that they try to protect those who can’t protect themselves. Being a hero in real life isn’t about defeating enemies; it’s about showing love, compassion, and care.”
Building a Strong Foundation in Faith
Talking about the value of life from a faith perspective can also help your child see the importance of respecting others. Remind them that they—and everyone else—are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). This means that each person is unique, special, and worthy of love and respect. Life is a gift from God, and He calls us to honor and protect it, both in ourselves and in others.
Here’s how you might discuss this:
“Every person you meet is made in the image of God, which means they’re important and loved by Him. That’s why it’s so important to treat others with kindness and respect. Even if someone makes a mistake or does something wrong, their life still matters deeply to God.”
Steps Parents Can Take to Reinforce the Value of Life
As parents, there are ways you can help your preteen understand and respect the value of life despite what they see in the media:
- Limit Exposure to Violent Media: Help reduce the amount of violence they see by setting limits on video games, TV shows, and movies. Choose media that promotes kindness, teamwork, and respect for others.
- Encourage Empathy and Compassion: Talk to your child about the feelings and needs of others. Encourage them to think about how they would feel if they were in someone else’s shoes, whether it’s a character in a story or someone they know personally.
- Discuss Real-Life Consequences: Explain that in real life, actions have lasting effects. Talk about real stories of heroism—stories of people helping others, showing bravery in the face of danger, and working toward peace.
- Model Respect for Life: Show your child how to honor life by being respectful and kind to others, even in challenging situations. When they see you valuing others, they learn to do the same.
- Guide Them in Faith-Based Values: Share Bible verses and stories that emphasize God’s love for every person. Passages like Psalm 139:14, which says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”, can help them see their own value and the value of others.
Helping Your Preteen Stand Up for Life
The world around us may sometimes seem to devalue life, but your influence can help your preteen build a foundation of respect, empathy, and compassion. By talking openly, modeling respect, and helping them see the truth through a lens of faith, you can guide them toward a strong sense of worth for themselves and everyone around them.
Your preteen is at an age where they’re beginning to form lasting beliefs and values. Helping them see the true, irreplaceable value of life will not only guide them through these years but also help them grow into compassionate, caring adults who understand that life is indeed the most valuable gift we have.
References
- American Psychological Association. (2021). Children, Teens, Media, and Body Image. Retrieved from https://apa.org
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). The Impact of Media Violence on Children. Retrieved from https://aap.org
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2022). Media Violence and Children’s Behavior. Retrieved from https://aacap.org
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